To Defy Dust
by Jenny27261
Summary: Love isn't a matter of the soul, it is one of the heart. Regina determines that the one she's in love with is most certainly not her soulmate. Fairy Queen


**Hey there readers! I had this idea a few nights ago and just couldn't help myself. This story has also been posted on my Tumblr under username Screamingoutunderwater. This is my first shot at a Fairy Queen fic, I hope you all like it!**

**~Jen**

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Every few nights it was the same thing. Tinkerbell, the nearly fallen fairy, night after night, found herself sneaking out and up to Regina's bedroom. Not for the reasons anybody would think though. They stayed up to all hours, talking excitedly about the man Regina had met. His name was Robin Hood. She was overjoyed to have such a genuine connection with a man. Unfortunately though, he was married. He was even having a baby with this woman. He was so in love with her, Regina knew even then it would have been no better of her to try anything beyond a friendship with him. Robin was her friend with the lion tattoo, the second one she had ever made. The first was the fairy that made Regina's stomach churn with joy.

Tink was somebody she cared about that was safe from her. She would always remain safe now that Blue was watching her so closely. But as a result, their interactions were so limited, it was painful eventually, this odd craving she had just to see her fairy friend. Tinkerbell talked to her when nobody else would. Occasionally she went to see Robin and then his sweet little boy, Roland, but never much beyond that. It even once got to a point where Regina lie awake at night wondering where her fairy was. Was she sleeping? Off having some sort of adventure? Maybe she was in trouble for disobeying Blue again. Regina hoped not. The thought of seeing Tink in danger made her stomach pull in ways she didn't want to name.

With the passing years her friendships continued to grow, she helped Robin with his grieving heart after his wife died. Idly one night she wondered if this was what was supposed to happen so that the pixie dust could finally let it's premonition come full circle. But now that she had known Robin, known his wife and their son, it simply didn't feel right, he was almost like a brother that protected her from the world, she didn't love him that way. She did love him, just not in the way the pixie dust foretold. She thought to go to Rumple, her former teacher, for help.

Yes, former. It was shocking how having such positive influences could change one's life so drastically. It was nearly painful to say it but she felt happy. Happiness was what she needed, not love, she soon realized. But then again, her happiness in itself was love. The love of friends who had become like family as the years progressed. As it turned out, Rumple had already helped them enough for one lifetime. He refused unless she chose to take up his teachings again. Regina refused. For the first time in her life, when she said no, they listened.

That night Regina went home and laid in bed, thinking about her life. Yes, she was still miserable in the castle. She hated Snow for what she had done, but without all of this pain she eventually realized that she wouldn't have the love she had now. Her longing for Daniel still ached in her chest but all the while, she couldn't stop thinking about Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell had made her so unbelievably happy simply by being there to talk to her. Whenever she needed it, Tink had been there with a hug and smile where she could never hope to find one in the rest of her life. Her stomach twisted in knots thinking about that perfectly knowing smile she always seemed to have, like Tink knew what she was going to say. Or her green eyes that would light up with just the slightest glance. Her strange way of speaking, the way it felt when they hugged, how the slightest touch made her skin light up and burn with joy.

_"Love Regina, you need love!"_ She recalled Tinkerbell saying the first time they had met. Well, maybe she was right, but it wasn't in the way she had anticipated. It was wrong to love that way, that's what Cora had always said. No. Regina had been meant to marry a man, a woman would never be an option, it was unholy and wrong in every possible way. It wasn't right, outwardly anyways.

"Maybe I do...but I can never have it can I?" Regina whispered into her pillow, tears gently falling in the frustration that the one time she felt the happiest was with the person she could never have. Her heart ached and her stomach churned all night long until she was sick. She sat up and wiped her eyes. A shaking breath fell as dared to speak the name of the woman she was quickly falling for more by the moment. "Tinkerbell." The name was spoken like a prayer to a god that had never answered them before. Only this time, he would, though it was hardly his doing. In a small puff of glittering green smoke, Tinkerbell appeared in the middle of the room.

"Regina? What's wrong? It's so late." The fairy rubbed her eyes as she moved to the bed and sat down next to her friend. "Why are you crying?" Her frown deepened.

"I-I just needed to see you." Regina replied, sniffling and pulling Tink into a tight hug, which the fairy was easily able to reciprocate.

"Are you sure that's it? It wasn't another nightmare was it?" Tink questioned, her expression beyond concerned. "I thought those ended last year after Snow's sixteenth birthday party?" Unconsciously Tink ran a hand through Regina's hair as she held her closely again.

"No. I promise. It wasn't a nightmare. I just was fed up with not being able to sleep." The Queen sighed to emphasize her point.

"Do you need me to use some fairy dust?"

"It's alright, I just didn't want to be awake alone."

"So you woke me up just so you could take me down with you? I see how it is." Tink nudged Regina with a laugh. Regina shook her head and rubbed her eyes, laughing right along with her because it simply was that easy. Her moods were infectious.

"Not exactly. I was wondering if you might...uh...spend the night here." To this Tink raised an eyebrow.

"Sure, I guess so? But I'll have to be gone before sunrise or Blue will be mad at me again." She agreed rather easily. Regina nodded and they settled into her bed, Tink had offered to sleep on a cushion or something but Regina had insisted she sleep next to her. For a while they stayed curled up facing each other and just talking until Regina finally felt sleepy again. But when they moved to sleep, instead of turning away, they stayed curled up and impossibly close the entire time.

Regina wasn't even ashamed to admit it wasn't the first time. It happened more often than she cared to say, they laid together in the most intimate of positions while they slept, entirely unashamed of themselves. They were friends, friends could be close, but not this close, to the point that their lips were almost touching they were so close. Sleeping soundly like a real couple would, unlike Regina's own husband, if she could call him that, who slept in an entirely separate wing of the castle. In the morning, Tink was always gone, Regina understood why. If they were ever found out it could ruin the both of them.

All of this continued until the eve of Regina's twenty fourth birthday. Snow was a young woman, preparing to marry some prince Regina had never found to have enough personality to remember his name. It was James or something along those lines. It was her birthday and their was not a single celebration planned. It was if the entire kingdom had simply forgot the lone queen's birthday, or was it that they had forgotten her? That afternoon she visited Roland and Robin, his son was already growing so strong. For his fifth birthday, Robin had given him his very own bow, a very small one at that but he spent hours showing Regina all he had learned, or all he could attempt anyways. Until he was too tired he shot and shot the bow, Robin had even given Regina a tiny lesson or two as they watched his son play.

"Robin...can I tell you something?"

"Of course. What is it Regina?" Robin looked over, suddenly slightly concerned from the tone of her voice.

"Long ago, when I first became queen, Tinkerbell tried to give me a way out. She used pixie dust to give me a new soulmate. But I think she did it wrong. I never fell in love with the one I was supposed to." She spoke calmly, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"What do you mean? Just because two souls are made to be together doesn't mean they should be. It's a pile of magical dust. We're human, I've always thought, no matter what, the human will is stronger than any spell so long as we're willing to fight against it." He said solemnly, thinking back to his wife and the loss of her. It's at least what he told himself to sleep better at night.

"Do you really believe that?" Regina asked, in a small awe.

"Only if the person in question truly fights do they ever get what they seek in life. I believe it with all my heart." Regina's eyes watered.

"Robin, I'm in love with Tinkerbell but the pixie dust sai-"

"If you love her then the pile of dust was wrong. Magic was made by people, we can make mistakes." Robin nodded at her. "If you love her, go tell her."

"I will." She sniffled, standing. "Thank you Robin. I-I think I need to go see her."

"But what about your crown?" Robin asked.

"I don't care. I don't care about any of it. I never wanted to be queen and my mother isn't here to stop me. I won't stop fighting, if I have to lose everything to get the one thing I've always wanted...then I guess I'll just have to do it won't I?" Regina furrowed her brow, more determined than ever.

"Alright. Oh! And Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Happy birthday."

Smiling ear to ear, Regina left that night and sat in a secluded part of the castle gardens. Night fell and most of the guards had snuck off to drink already. Regina was alone as she could be, but she wouldn't be. Taking in a careful and nervous breath she said Tinkerbell's name again, leaning back against a tree. But Tink didn't appear. Confused, Regina called again.

Nothing

"Tinkerbell where are you?"

_'Will you calm down! I'm busy!' _Tink snapped back in the form of a voice inside of Regina's head.

Instantly Regina felt her eyes begin to water. Had Tink forgotten it was her birthday too? It ached inside, like a knife twisting in her heart. She couldn't risk crying out here where anybody could see so she ran back to her room. Of course, being the proper queen she had been raised to be, she didn't allow anybody to see her tears, not until she slammed the door behind her did they fall. The queen looked up with sad eyes to find a very perturbed Tink in the center of the room, her entire bedroom covered in garlands of flowers.

"Regina! I wasn't finished!" Tink huffed. "Why couldn't you have stayed outside? I haven't hung the daisies yet!"

"W-what is all of this?" She awed, looking around.

"It's for your birthday...but you ruined the surprise..." Tink replied sheepishly. "Happy Birthday Regina!" She smiled brightly.

"I can't believe you did all of this for me!" Regina beamed, pulling Tink into a tight hug.

"You're my best friend, of course I would!" Tink said with a small blush gracing her already naturally rosy cheeks. Regina noticed, Tink hoped she would have but she had and it made her blush right back.

"Thank you."

"Don't even mention it. Can I show you your present now?" Tink giggled excitedly. Regina hesitated for a moment, biting her lip. Perhaps it would be best if she came out and said it right away. But then again, what if Tinkerbell refused her, and she probably would, what was to become of what was this sweet and almost romantic gesture? Her birthday had been lonely enough, was losing the fairy she loved worth it?

Regina already knew the answer.

"Actually, can I talk to you about something?" She asked shyly.

"If this is going to be some deep drivel about feelings I'm not having it. You need to be in a good mood for this to work." Regina's face twisted in confusion until Tinkerbell sprinkled a dash of fairy dust on her. "We're going flying." This was something they hadn't done since they met Robin. It was special, because this time when Tinkerbell's wings appeared, she stayed Regina's size. Clasping their hands together, she walked them to the balcony where they first met. They took off into the starry skies and out to look at the glowing lights of the village below.

It was so easy to think the happy thoughts required to lift herself off the ground. Her heart was already pounding. The air was so cold so she moved closer, keeping her hand firmly in Tinkerbell's. Silence hung in the night air between the two of them, a comfortable one but still not one Regina was ready to have.

"Tink? I have to tell you something?"

"What's that?" Tink was too busy staring at what looked like a fountain, from their height it was hard to tell.

"I-I have had these strange...feelings for a while. I have been wanting to share them but I have been so worried and conflicted because of the pixie dust and I realized that it doesn't matter what dust says..." In her panicked speech, she hadn't noticed her happy thoughts fade with the prospect of rejection on the horizon.

Regina fell.

The queen tried to recover her happy thought but she was suddenly too scared and wondering if this was going to be it. But right before her back was pierced by the fountain below, she felt arms wrap around her, protecting her from falling any further. She opened her eyes, it wasn't magic this time that had saved her, just a very worried Tinkerbell.

"Are you alright?! What happened back there!" She frowned, cradling Regina just a little closer. The heat radiating off Tink's body was intoxicating. She looked up, dumbfounded and for a moment their eyes me. Tinkerbell was searching for an answer and Regina was at a loss for any other words. Deep brown eyes flickered between a pair of green eyes staring back at her and the perfect pink lips belonging to those eyes. All thoughts flew out the window and Regina cupped Tinkerbell's face with her hands and kissed her.

Almost immediately Tinkerbell pulled away with widened eyes but she didn't falter for a second. She just flew up into the sky again and took a breath.

"Did you want us to be seen?" Tinkerbell gasped, utterly breathless regardless of how quickly the kiss had ended.

"No...but I just needed to say it."

"Then say it! I don't want you to get hurt Regina!" Tink exclaimed, waiting expectantly.

"I love you." It almost hurt to say the words out loud. Love was a weakness, that is what she had always been told but if it was weakness then why was it that she suddenly felt invincible?

"Alright then." Tinkerbell breathed in reply, relief washing over her features. Before Regina could question the odd response Tinkerbell's lips were back on her own, locked in a sweet kiss that tingled like magic. They pulled away after a few long moments. "But what about the pixie dust."

"I don't care. I choose who I love. Not some dust." Regina resolved very quickly, kissing Tinkerbell again.

"But what about Blue? And the King! What will he say?!" Tink sputtered nervously, fearing for her own hide. She had no idea what was about to be in store. She knew the rule, fairies were not supposed to fall in love. There were so many things to be worried about, but the more time she spent kissing Regina, the more it seemed to matter less and less, at least for now.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes! Of course!"

"Then we can worry about it later!" Regina laughed and with that, the fairy dust began to work again instantly and the two were able to fly back to Regina's room. The whole way they'd stop occasionally and rolling around in the air, just kissing as innocently as possible and laughing, as if it were all a dream.

The rest of the night was spent between shared kisses and talking as they faced each other in Regina's bed. Just like they used to, only now they were closer, holding each other as if this might be the only night they'd ever spend together. It may very well be. Fairies weren't supposed to fall in love and Regina was still married. The thought crossed their minds that it may very well be that they'd be torn apart.

So less than a week later, they ran.

In the middle of the night Tink splashed Regina with fairy dust once again and they flew, following the second star to the right they moved as fast as they could away from everything, away from Blue, away from King Leopold, all the past and pain of what was Regina's life. The night before they said goodbye to Robin and Roland, who said he might follow them out someday and understood just what lengths would be required to go for the sake of having love and never letting it go. Reality may have set in eventually but they face it head on, together. Fear dotted Regina's mind every now and then, that this love she had found would make her weak. But if this was so, then there was no way Regina could feel this invincible with her fairy by her side. Together, they'd be safe, everything else would fall into place eventually.

Just so long as they flew straight on until morning.

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**Thanks again so much for reading! Your comments and reviews keep me going so let me know what you thought! Who knows, I might just be tempted to write more.**

**Hope you enjoyed the story!**

**~Jen**


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